i'm not much of a sentimental person, romance is not my forte. 
i had vowed to myself years ago that i would never fall in love....being dependent on someone else freaks me out big time.
however, 2 years ago, i actually did fall in love (so much for my vow eh)...it didn't work out...
and i am still head over heels in love with K (my ex) which is sad. true.
i have dated guys after him, but it seems that no one can live up to K. K is K. thats what i tell the girls at work. they tell me to get out more on the dating scene, but to be honest, i can't really be bothered to go through the whole dating process again for a number of reasons:
1) i am seriously bored of the usual questions that are asked on the first few dates like, job occupation, likes and dislikes, etc. i just cant take the repetition again..it is just too much hassle emotionally...
2) non-reciprocral feelings - it is always tough if you're liked or not, how you are going to let down the person bla bla...if he's going to call,,,,or should i call? its just too time consuming...
3) having a decent relationship and then all of a sudden, POOF, it's finished...and you end up with a broken heart. 
basically i think that relationships are ANTI-CLIMAXES. (is that the plural for climax?)...even though having a man around to carry my grocery bags, to drive me to the pc shop (had to walk it in the rain today), to have someone to warm me up during the night, (and of course to shag, duh), i just don't think it is worth the time and emotions to invest in a relationship which will eventually break down. 
one of my girlfriends, C, meets tons of guys online. i asked her last week whilst drowning down glasses of wine amidst smoke: C, why the hell do u meet so many guys? - what exactly do you want with them? A fuck or a relationship? Well, she actually admitted that she wanted to relationship. Bully for her. She started to see this guy right, and after 2 dates he told her that he never felt like this for anyone. my reaction would be this: RUN RUN RUN. she actually was smitten by those words. we girls just dont learn. we never do. we promise ourselves not to get hurt again, not to believe any bullshit blurted out from a guy's mouth...but we still fall in that trap again...
of course C made me sick with all the texts she got that nite...from her guy...jealous? no. envious? well maybe a bit...but just envious of the thought of having someone on the other side of the line thinking about me....but not envious of hearing a guy BLA BLAing about how special i am after 2 dates....C, that is danger....
