i can't believe this crap.

last week, two guys that i used to date, contacted me on msn just to say 'hello'. both of them asking me when im going back home for xmas.

and yes, both of them want to fuck my brains out.

what is it with guys? when ur in the same country as them, they don't bother...they don't call...and THEN all of a sudden, you move to another country, you get over them, you simply forget them, and out of the frigging blue, they bounce back to life. what the fuck?

so...there's KT and D. KT is big fun - he is a great drinking buddy..nothing ever materialised with him...i was still hung up about K and well, i was acting weird, and well i totally fucked it up by being paranoid and clingy...we kinda remained friends...but lost contact for over a year until he messages me like 2 months ago. we both updated each other about our lives and that's that. last week i was minding my own business watching a dvd and KT messages me....and he gave me enough bait to say that he wants us to get together and get it on. KT is def. NOT the type of guy who will get into a long-term serious relationship...he's too fucked up trying to find himself...going from one job to the other...he always has a new venture - from working as a real estate agent, having a tile business to advertising?????!!!! his latest news is that he wants to move to spain...i dont know what else...

anyways..he's good looking and i love his company..but im not feeling it..even though i might be gagging for a nice shag, i've lost my mojo i think.

Then there's D - D is seperated with two daughters and he informed me last week that his sep. is legalised now. when i broke up with K, i only wanted a fuck buddy - possibly not 100% attracted to a f.b. so i won't have any feelings involved. and D came along. sometimes his face reminds me of Frankenstein. he's a screwed up person but i can twist him around my little finger anytime i want.... and we fight like an old married couple. by the way too....i know..complicated.

anyways, D, wants a piece of me too...

i have bad news for both KT and D -- I'm fed up of going back in the past, rekindling something for an hour...then back in reality..rocking back and forth is getting me giddy to be honest....it's all about future tense now...no K, no KT and no D.....finally...